Why people always ask “love marriage or arrange?”

Does it really matter whether it’s arrange marriage or love marriage? Why people are so curious to know and judge others by how they got married. Most of the time when the discussion of arrange married v. love marriage start people loves to mention that arrange marriage are more successful than love marriage. Is it really? Think again, based on how many people are taking divorce from their love marriage doesn’t give you the 100% accurate results that arrange marriage is more successful. To be honest with you, love marriage and arrange marriages are equal.

Before I get into detail explanation let’s make things bit clear. Let’s start with the meaning of love marriage and arrange marriage. Love marriage does NOT mean a male and a female run away and get married in a temple on a hill. It simply means when two people find the common ground and decided to spend the rest of their lives together to face the good and the bad situation. In other words, when a guy and a girl decided to marry each other with out the help of their parents (that does not mean they are not telling their parents).

Arrange marriage means you find your life partner with the help of your parents and family member. The logic in both the scenario is the same. Find a common ground, comfort level, attraction, and education etc. I believe most people observe the number of divorce from love marriage against arrange marriage, but they are missing the point where in arrange marriage there is a lot to compromise. Not that love marriages don’t have compromises, but to me it seems arrange marriage have more.

Love marriage is a personal decision where there is less involvement of family, family prestige and society. Arrange marriage is decided based on two or more number of families. When it comes to divorce or any major issue to address, people involved in love marriage, most of the time, take the decision by themselves. In arrange marriage when the couple is facing similar problem they try to involve their parents and family members for help. When family engage in solving any issue they do very silently as it involves their status in society. I visit few website where people come to get help for problem they are facing in their marriage life. Believe me majority people are coming from arrange marriage, the first reason they mention is they don’t like to ruin their family’s status in society. Another reason is they are afraid their family will think her/his in-laws are not good people (human nature – people believe when something is wrong with their loved one it is always other parties fault) It’s hard to get both sides of story and decide who is right and wrong!

What I am trying to express here is, what you see is not always true. If you go deep down you will find the facts. To me both arrange and love marriages are equal but to make your marriage successful communicate with your spouse. Try to address any issue you are facing together. Express your feeling doesn’t matter whether it’s a minor or major concern. Communication in marriage life is the key of success.

“Virginity” – Dignity or Lack of Opportunity?

I came across one blog where someone mentioned “Virginity is not a dignity it’s a lack of opportunity” is it really? Let’s start with the meaning of “Virginity”. According to online sources “Virginity means a person who has not engaged in sexual intercourse.” also known as “a state of being pure”

To some people it is a state of being pure, but for some its not. It depends on personal choice. Many people especially in South-Asian community prefer to stay virgin because they are being told to do so. Obviously, it is a different topic which I will post soon. But for some people sex is a feeling, an experiment and/or an experience, which they practice with multiple or single partner without any hesitation. To me it is not a big deal because it’s personal choice.

Let me share one of my personal experience, at my previous work place one person wore t-shirt which said “Virginity is not a dignity, it’s a lack of opportunity” from that one 45+ year old lady got offended and complained to the management people. Management staff introduced the rule of not wearing t-shirts with any slogan. When I heard about the new rule I was rolling on the floor laughing (I wasn’t rolling on the floor). I still don’t understand the comment was not on her then why was she offended? Oh well anyways, she made a big issue over the small tissue. (Just joking, don’t get offended now)

Another important point I want to cover is when we use the word virgin, first gender comes in mind is female. Why most of people think we are only talking about female when we mention virgin, a male can also choose to be one. In today’s world it is considered a shame for a male to be a virgin, why is that? If a man chooses to be a virgin so be it. You can’t make him feel guilty for his personal choice.

All I want to express here is don’t force anyone or make them guilty for their personal choice. If someone is misguided try to show the correct path. There is nothing to get offended from a joke which was made on your belief or choice directly or indirectly. Only do if you believe in you and don’t get offended by others action.

Career Path

Career Path

Every morning I wake up turn on my TV while having my morning tea to watch news. I always come across different commercial of private colleges and universities about choosing the right career path. I wonder how you choose your career path. I look back in my life and I realized it took me 25 years to find out what I want to do for the rest of my life. That is ¼ of my life; I still have to do the same work for another ¾ of my life. How would I know if I made the right choice? Is it based on how much money I am making right now or how much I will make in future or is the job which I am doing and enjoying? To me the job satisfaction plays more vital role than money. I came across lot of people who consider money is important than anything, but I strongly believe after certain period of time he/she will get tired of the work because they are not satisfied with what he/she is doing.

There are million ways of earning quick cash if you are too desperate for money. A smart investment, a hobby as side business, part-time job etc. but nobody wants to work more and earn. People are always in search of easy money. I rather get more education and experience in the work I love than taking up a job which just pays more. We are living in the world where ethics doesn’t mean anything anymore. It is all about money. In today’s world it is considered achievement if you can afford all possible luxuries, expensive phone, purse, brand name dress, luxurious car and many more. Why are we lost in comparison, status, and society? Can money buy job satisfaction? I don’t think so. But a satisfied job can sure get the money you deserve and possibly all the luxuries. It sound so easy but no one want to take that into consideration. I came across one person at my work who is with the company for last 20 years. He enjoyed every second of his life working at this place and is totally satisfied. He started with internship and today he has vice-president status besides his name.

All I want to express here is no matter what field or job you have job satisfaction is very important. Love your job it doesn’t matter where you work. If you love your job then you will work hard and smart. Believe in yourself, do your work honestly and success will be find you. I would really appreciate your thoughts on this matter, thanks for reading.

Non-vegetarians V. Vegetarians

The other day, I was at my friend’s place discussing about food. Somehow we ended up on non-vegetarians V. vegetarian’s discussion. It was a battle of one (me being a non-vegetarian) v. five vegetarians. I said eating non-veg. is not a sin. We are living on earth where majority people are non-vegetarian. I respect people for being vegetarians but why South Asian people especially Hindu vegetarian people drag religious beliefs into the argument. I know this is never ending argument but still wanted to get your ideas on this particular discussion.

According to them because our culture, gurus, books and parents told us it is not wise to kill and eat, that is why I am vegetarian. Where I believe a tree is also living thing. It grows, takes water, eats air etc. lives and we cut it down for our hunger. When I expressed this they said it is being said that a moving & living animal shouldn’t be killed. I said whatever the reason, why they hate people who eats non-veg. I respect your decision of being vegetarian, why can’t you be the same.

After this discussion, I asked myself why people don’t question when they are told to do something. If someone asks me to do something which I don’t know, hell I will raise a question to them right away. Why most Indian or I would say South Asian people follow without asking “why”?

What could be the reason behind not asking question?