Why people always ask “love marriage or arrange?”
Posted by T. Waffle on September 11, 2007
Does it really matter whether it’s arrange marriage or love marriage? Why people are so curious to know and judge others by how they got married. Most of the time when the discussion of arrange married v. love marriage start people loves to mention that arrange marriage are more successful than love marriage. Is it really? Think again, based on how many people are taking divorce from their love marriage doesn’t give you the 100% accurate results that arrange marriage is more successful. To be honest with you, love marriage and arrange marriages are equal.
Before I get into detail explanation let’s make things bit clear. Let’s start with the meaning of love marriage and arrange marriage. Love marriage does NOT mean a male and a female run away and get married in a temple on a hill. It simply means when two people find the common ground and decided to spend the rest of their lives together to face the good and the bad situation. In other words, when a guy and a girl decided to marry each other with out the help of their parents (that does not mean they are not telling their parents).
Arrange marriage means you find your life partner with the help of your parents and family member. The logic in both the scenario is the same. Find a common ground, comfort level, attraction, and education etc. I believe most people observe the number of divorce from love marriage against arrange marriage, but they are missing the point where in arrange marriage there is a lot to compromise. Not that love marriages don’t have compromises, but to me it seems arrange marriage have more.
Love marriage is a personal decision where there is less involvement of family, family prestige and society. Arrange marriage is decided based on two or more number of families. When it comes to divorce or any major issue to address, people involved in love marriage, most of the time, take the decision by themselves. In arrange marriage when the couple is facing similar problem they try to involve their parents and family members for help. When family engage in solving any issue they do very silently as it involves their status in society. I visit few website where people come to get help for problem they are facing in their marriage life. Believe me majority people are coming from arrange marriage, the first reason they mention is they don’t like to ruin their family’s status in society. Another reason is they are afraid their family will think her/his in-laws are not good people (human nature – people believe when something is wrong with their loved one it is always other parties fault) It’s hard to get both sides of story and decide who is right and wrong!
What I am trying to express here is, what you see is not always true. If you go deep down you will find the facts. To me both arrange and love marriages are equal but to make your marriage successful communicate with your spouse. Try to address any issue you are facing together. Express your feeling doesn’t matter whether it’s a minor or major concern. Communication in marriage life is the key of success.
Teena said
I think no matter whether it’s arranged marriage or love marriage, it successes only if there is enough trust and communication. It’s not easy for two people coming out from two different families to stay together for rest of the life. Some times I wonder how we all are so different but still we decided to spend our life with one partner (as far as Indian society goes) .of course there are arguments but then again that love and understanding between two people brings them closer. I don’t see divorce has anything to do with love or arrange marriage. I think it’s individual’s thinking and choice. Btw it’s really interesting topic.
LoveR said
well yeah i agree with you. i think if one has to compare.. then according to me an arranged-marriage is more challenging.
D said
marriages, they say, are made in heaven. and i totally agree. then how does it matter whether it’s a love or arranged marriage? and don’t love marriages also have to be arranged? and don’t arranged marriages also about love?! It’s a rhetorical question.
C R D said
yea true .. many people simply assume that love marriages are all where the couple elope and get married. i believe we all should choose our own partners, and aranged marriages should be the last resort when u havent been lucky enuff to find ur soulmate on ur own
Mr. Tapori said
@ lover,
I second that, how can you decide in one hour you want to send the rest of your life with the other person!
Kenneth said
lol…..pretty decent crash course on the 2 types of marriage….best thing is dnt marry nd live a tension free life (in company of diff ofcourse)
Kenneth said
diff women*
Ankit Shukla said
good one… i will take that..
Anshu Anand said
Schism : (Noun) — means division or disunion, esp. into mutually opposed parties.
————
I know the pieces fit cause I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering – Fundamental differing,
Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes – Testing our communication
The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
We cannot see to reach an end – Crippling our communication
I know the pieces fit cause I watched them tumble down
No fault, None to blame, It doesn’t mean I don’t desire to
Point the finger, Blame the other, Watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together – Rediscover communication.
The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.
There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I’ve done the math enough to know the dangers of a second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion
-between supposed lovers
-between supposed brothers.
And I know the pieces fit.
—-
Any disintegerating relationship goes through this …the only way to save it is through communication
deesha said
Well whether its love marriage or arrange marriage i think every relation needs TRUST,HONESTY & RESPECT…..if there is no communication between u & ur spouse how on earth can u live?…..
Divorce comes only when u dont understand each other…..one shud be responsible enough to handle a relation…..